“It’s better to be absolutely ridiculous than to be absolutely boring!” XD – Marlyn Monroe.
There comes a point in your life when you just stop everything and realize, “Life has become so monotonous. I need some spice, NOW!” I’ve been feeling that for a very long time. It seems like the world conspires against you to get whacky and crazy. You’ve been too good for too long. And, that isn’t too good.
Listen up, countrymen! Let the eccentric-ness resurface. 😀
Here’s a hip and funky point wise guide to ruin your date;
• Eat heavy oil dripping food the previous meal. Do not think twice before indulging in those mouth watering samosas or vada pav. Eat to your hearts’ content. Rather, eat more than your hearts’ content. And If its ‘mooli’ ka season. Nothing can get better! All the deadly gases are sure to over flow on your date!
• Wear the shabbiest clothes you’ve ever owned. Mix and match horribly (don’t forget to consider color combinations. Maybe dress like a peacock with all colors haphazardly present in your outfit) So that when you look at the mirror, you say – Yeah, I look so eww!
• Ever heard of IST? Nah, it’s – Indian Stretchable Time!
Reach at least 40 minutes late for your date. Do not bother to give explanations. If asked, reply with a slight air of defiance – “I am Royalty, I ought to be late!”
• Try and initiate a conversation and nudge your date to talk but not give him/her the chance to actually talk. Keep talking and talking. And talking. You have no idea how much of annoyance will be brewing within your date!
• Use foul language in every second sentence of yours. Go desi with it. (P.s Do take a mental picture of his while you speak the first major desi slang! It’ll totally be worth it. 😛 )
• Keep on texting or whatsapping or BBMing while on the date.
* ^ This one will work Wonders!!*
• Talk about Hindi soaps and your undying love for them. Keep on mentioning how you never miss even one telecast. Discuss characters and stories.
*The date is 60% already ruined. Time to get cracking! The major part is about to begin*
• Pour out all your problems in front of him. If required, create more problems. Get all sad and weepy. Get in the flow. Blow your nose loudly. Then suddenly be all fine and appear as a bipolar freak!
• Ask him about his hobbies and interests. Show disgust at every hobby and prominently mention why you dislike it! Find nooks in every opinion, choice of your date. Become the fault finder! Keep the sarcasm flowing.
• Laugh embarrassingly on his jokes. Should I mention again, EMBARASSINGLY?
___________Loading… _____ 100% cOmplEte.
Congratulation, your date has been successfully ruined. He is going to consider this date a thousand times before going on another one (Of course, not with you!) 😀
X PinkDragon X