Category Archives: Teenage Shizz

Fill the void with Immense strength.

Oh Lord, give me strength, Pure Sheer Strength,

To reach where I want to, to be kickass in the paper I am about to give in May. To be independent and indispensable where ever I belong professionally and, personally.
To love something so beautiful that I can be my real self and have no fear of being stranded. To feel so beautiful that being around makes my heart flutter like the wings of a hummingbird. Coming to think of everything, I have no idea what will happen in the future. Professional front, I have aims to go towards. Personal front, I have no idea.
Will I be alone all my life and probably have a litter of puppies and an aquarium to my sanctity or the constant solitude will make me a hep hippie who travels and lives alone. Or maybe, maybe I’ll be someone who has a happy ending to the sleeping alone and a true love start to sharing beds, legally.

Oh Lord, Strength.

+ PinkDragon +


I can’t think of a good title, brain slip you see.

It’s been quite a while that I have been away from the blogging sphere.

Hellllooooo guys! These few months have been a hell-uva ride. Nothing is the same. Life does change after school but mine has changed way too drastically! I don’t stay where I used to. Equations aren’t the way they had been for years. I am not pursuing my Plan A for college and Plan B, though implemented.. is happiness none the less.

I am studying psychology honours. Course is challenging which btw is awesome with minors in English and HR. Even though college is all girls (KMN) , it’s not leading me to asphyxiation (as for now!)
College has been exciting, timings are exhausting and teachers make you work your ass off. As my college is located at the most prime location of Calcutta, we make the most of it. In every sense of it. 😀 And I have immense gratitude to destiny for playing its way so awesome-ly that we three; pk, vedu and me are in the same college though different courses but YAYYY! We’ve at least got a few classes together in the day and trust me, that in itself is a blessing.

It’s true. Life does change after college and you along with others, become so busy that it takes a while to comprehend what’s happening. Life just whizzes by and you are too stumbled to notice where everyone else is heading. But in reality you do, from a bird’s eye view take notice of it and the revelation strikes, that’s life isn’t it? Friends take their own way, different colleges different courses, we make new friends, stick to some old. No matter how much we try to keep in touch with about everyone from class, your schedule doesn’t allow you to, which eventually we all very gracefully let go off.

I have also realized in this while that it’s absolutely pointless to allow someone to make you feel bad about yourself just because you consider them as a friend or even at a time your best friend. No, no one has the right to walk all over you just because you care about them. That doesn’t give them the right to say mean things to you. I definitely don’t look like someone who might have a heart ( I have been hearing that a lot lately!) but man! I have got feelings. You cannot just come up to me and make me feel inadequate for things I don’t even have contributions in. And don’t mistake calling yourself a friend when all you’ve done is left when you’re supposed to stand there and be with me (at your personal discretion that too).. But nah, no more nonsense to be taken. Goodluck and goodbye!

After having an inexistent love life for ages, I have something to share. Even after a freshly filled vocab bank, I am still at loss of words to explain the tumble dee tumble dum inside my heart. Though things are slightly rocky at the moment, I know it will get better. I’ve also come to realize the power of positivity and positive thoughts. Not only do our actions echo, our thoughts do too. Have happy positive and vibrant thoughts, those vibes will definitely echo back from the universe. Like they say, take care of the small things and the big things will fall into place.

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“….. Love is not who you were expecting, love is not who you can predict. Maybe love is in New York City, already asleep, and you are in California, Australia, wide awake. Maybe love is always in the wrong time zone, maybe love is not ready for you. Maybe you are not ready for love. Maybe love just isn’t the marrying type. Maybe the next time you see love is twenty years after the divorce, love is older now, but just as beautiful as you remembered. Maybe love is only there for a month. Maybe love is there for every firework, every birthday party, every hospital visit. Maybe love stays- maybe love can’t. Maybe love shouldn’t.

Love arrives exactly when love is supposed to, and love leaves exactly when love must. When love arrives, say, “Welcome. Make yourself comfortable.” If love leaves, ask her to leave the door open behind her. Turn off the music, listen to the quiet, whisper, “Thank you. Thank you for stopping by.”

Beautiful isn’t it? Love in itself is awesome. Awesomeness, I’m always here. You’d find me working my ass off for my psychology papers or hanging out at park street or interning with the best senior in town (fingers crossed for this one) and be in the process of implementing my million dollar idea or chilling with macaroons in my mouth and besties at my side or even catching up on sitcoms. You’d find me right on time, that I know.

I’m on my way to accomplish all my dreams. Step by step. And I’m sure in these three years I will figure out the rest about my dreams as well. Walt Disney says – “All your dreams will come true if you have the courage to pursue them.” No wonder I love that man! 😀

P.s – Hopefully I’ll be regular this time and soon do a post on why ChuckBass is the man! 😀

+ PinkDragon +


Gracias.

Trying to search for someone on FB and feeling so damn lost.
I mean all I know is the visuals of the person I’m looking for, and NOTHING else.
This isn’t fair. I don’t know your name. Or your surname. (yes, lame.) All I know is you’re in third year of the college I will not name. You were so awesome. Unlike one of your friends who bugged the hell out of me in the waiting lounge downstairs.
Just send me a friend request already. I want to thank you for the alpenlebes you got me, for the support you provided, for every sweet nothing you did for me while racing up and down the corridor arranging everything and magically appearing once in a while till I entered the interview room. You entered with me. Waited in the side till the interviewers marked the previous interviewee. Listening to my slightly nervous limerick and chuckling at it making me laugh at my own self. Also, that you stood in the interview room the whole time while I was being interviewed and smiled at my answers, making me feel more confident about myself and my knowledge. I saw you smiling when I wrote less marks than what I actually got in the form and the professor telling me that one should always exaggerate and not contract marks and .89 means I should have written the next percentage. 😀
Also how you mini hugged me when I came out of the room with you and you told me that I was awesome and I’m definitely in and I looked at you like you spoke french but I was grinning away. Then when you said congratulations, it sunk.
I feel so stupid to not have asked your name or anything and just leave, smiling away. I had to whatsapp a friend and go to my mom who was waiting for me downstairs.
So stupid of me. Now how do I say thank you?

I’m not going to find you for a very long time now. So here it is,
Thank you so much. You were amazing. I’m sure you still are 😀

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Yo.

+ PinkDragon +


Perception.

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+ PinkDragon +


Some people are meant to be their own Super Hero.

I feel the weather acting up when I feel something strong. It’s like the nature responds to the tornado going on within me. Even though at the moment, everything is gloomy around me, I feel the sunshine pierce right through my soul. It’s asking to wake up to the call, the call that I have been avoiding from a very long time.

Why if I may ask is the wind acting up now when the temperature soars up to 37 degrees in the day. Why am I to deal with such extremities of life? Then there is silence. I can hear the silence. Something within me answers, in the most innocent and noble voice ever, “Isn’t this, what Life is all about; two extremities balancing its existence in the universe which we call ours?”

I look up at the sky, waiting for divine intervention to take me out of the pain I’m feeling. The pain of holding on when I know it’s a one way street and it probably will always be so. It feels like my insides mould into a small tortoise when I feel pain. My voice fails me. Stomach clenches and I go into the realm of silence. I prefer solitude to anything, even delicious chocolate frosted cupcakes don’t invite me. I observed myself very closely this time when I was hurt. The pain makes me cold to others. To keep myself safe from another round of being hurt, I protect myself. This protection seems cold to others. You know what’s the most hilarious part? The other person does something yet again, almost in a successive fashion that pierces right through me again and breaks my strength like you blow off a pyramid of playing cards by a phoo!

Why am I always secondary for the people who are always primary for me.
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The stars seem to wipe the crystals off my face and tell me that it’s okay to be all by yourself. It’s okay if at the end you’ve got no one but the stars by your side. I did my part, so what if people always forget to fulfill their in my life.
Cause I have always given and never received.
Yet I give. Not in the hope that I might receive someday.
But because, I love them.

Some people are meant to be their own heroes, their own superman.
You know what comforts me in the midst of solitary academic activities of studying and cramming all day long is this quote, “Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.” By Louisa May Alcott. I fell in love with classics after reading little women by her and now, getting inspiration for life by her quotes.

How can I give up on myself when the only person who’s been with me through thick and thin is my insides which took the harshest of storms with poise only to emerge more victorious than before? I love myself. Point Blank.

After being sure of my thoughts I get up from the ground with a smile and look at the stars to bid them goodbye, only to see the stars apparently smile at me back making my smile wider than before.

+ PinkDragon +


Boolean blunders.

STUDYING COMPUTERS IS NOT EASY. SCRIPTING IS NOT EASY. PROGRAMMING IS NOT EASY.

DID THAT HURT YOUR EYE? MY HEAD IS HURTING WITH SO MUCH OF JAVA AND PROGRAMMING!

BAD IT IS. BAD.

+ PinkDragon +


Life is a bed of roses. So what if the thorns prick a bit?

Everything has been extremely difficult since last Sunday. I have always been this strong girl, never showed my emotions. And this one fine day, a stranger comes and makes me feel so helpless, so lost. I literally had nightmares, those scary ones.

I have indulged in reading quite a few philosophical books since then. I have kept on thinking all day. My companion – my thoughts and the hookah smoke. I won’t say I turned into a social withdrawal but I enjoyed being alone. Pure solitude is what I mustered into. Don’t confuse being alone with being lonely.

While thinking.. I’ve come realize that maybe this was my karma. I had to deal with it so I did, pretty bravely that too. Not everything goes in the planned way. The worst is dealt with.
Everything happens for a reason. For me, it was to grow as an individual.

I have always been a genuinely sweet person and have always thought for the good of others. Yes, I have made my share of mistakes but I’ve also done more than my share to make up for them. I’ve spent all my energy on my loved ones, I have loved truly, yet I have been sworn and cursed at.

I have a lot of questions. Few have been answered and some are in the process. Lately, I have had the incredible opportunity to dwell into my own mind and procure the answers I seek. It’s not in the environment you are in or the people in your life. Everything is within you. When you accept yourself, just as you are, you have embarked on the journey.

I’ve come to a revelation that there are times in life when no matter how much you are loved and how good and worthy are the people who love you, you have to let them go. In these times, you have to let go. Just let go and be yourself. Spend some time alone. It probably seems foolish and stupid to everyone on the other end but really, that is how it is. It just feels right inside your heart. Reality has its own versions for all. I’ve drifted to mine. If things are meant to be, they will be.

+ PinkDragon +